I still remember her walking out from behind the holding area of the Miami-Dade animal rescue. She was a bit disoriented because she had been spayed not too long prior. Her belly was shaved and she had a green set of stitches that would dissolve over time and leave a green line on her belly the rest of her life. A sign that, if she ever ended up apart from me, that whoever would find her would know she had been fixed. For the next 11 years, we would never be apart from each other long.
The older you get, time flattens. July 21st, 2014 feels like it happened yesterday and forever ago. The week without her has felt longer than that.
The first picture I have of her is outside Charm City Burger Company in Deerfield Beach, FL. We had stopped there on our way back from picking her up and wanted to get something to eat before we went home.
Arya shortly after we picked her up with a paper boat I filled with water for her
She didn’t eat the first two days she lived with us. Turns out, a sedated dog who is suddenly shuffled to a new home doesn’t have much of an appetite. It didn’t make me worry less and when I tried feeding her on the third day and she scarfed the whole bowl almost as quickly as I put it down. She would always be a pretty fast eater.
Over the years, Arya’s personality would emerge. Nonplussed. She would become the lowest maintenance dog ever. just content to be near someone and not ask for anything else. She would let you know when she wanted some attention and would be content to just get rubbed on the head. Her favorite would be when you scratch the side of her head by her ear. Should would put her entire head in your hand in the sweetest way if you did that for her. A sign that she was appreciative for what you were doing and that she loved you for it.
Arya had been in over 30% of my life. For that time, there was no me without her. This last year, Arya has been diagnosed with diabetes and would have to get insulin shots twice a day everyday. The vet tech told me very bluntly “She will go blind from now his. It could be two weeks from now, it could be two months from now, but she will go blind.” Sure enough, most of her vision would eventually go until she could basically only see shadows and light.
However, Arya being Arya, stubbornly wouldn’t let that deter her. She still navigated the house and yard undaunted. Her hearing would go too and soon her back legs would start to fail her as well. A dog that once used to hop up on those back legs and spin when she was excited, would start to fall and splay out.
I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the end had come. Even though she hadn’t been the dog that would take down Alfred when they played or chased after him when we would start to bark at something in the yard.
Kate helped me tremendously during this time. A woman who loved Arya so much and really helped me cope with this. The day she left, I spent the day on the couch next to her, taking pictures of her, savoring every minute I had left with her. Arwen, one of our new cats who had taking a liking to her came up and snuggled with her. I think it was her way of saying goodbye to a friend she had made.
Our vet is absolutely the best. He helped up through the loss of Amelia previously, and now again with Arya. he would get right down on the floor and give her some minnows. Arya went with her head on my thigh and me petting her head. The same way we would always lay on the floor together her whole life.
Everything still feels weird. Arya wasn’t especially housebroken but developed at solid 85% success rate on going on a pad later in life and now when I see a dark spot on the floor in our kitchen that’s just part of the pattern, I know it can’t be what I think it is, but I notice it every time and “ugh, Arya peed there” is always my first though. Feeding just Alfred and not having to draw a shot of insulin. Waking up and not having to step over a dog sleeping on the floor next to me. But most of all, life just continues on without her.
Though, if I’m being honest, I’ll never be without her.
I’ll love forever you, Arya.
Arya Forever.